I Need to Vent


Pregnancy is weird. I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant, so I’m “full-term” and can pop at any time.

If you read my last post, you know that I’m having bouts of padromal labor. Basically, this is where early labor is occurring, but it stops before it becomes active labor (ie. the baby doesn’t come out). Yesterday my contractions got down to about 1½ minutes apart, but then they stopped, which was extremely frustrating.

In reality, I know that it’s not a big deal and it’s definitely not my midwife’s fault, but I feel terrible and a bit ridiculous and sad, and I can’t be upset with the baby, so I’m being upset with the midwife.

Even though it’s not a big deal since I actually was having contractions (and even if I wasn’t, I get to use my pregnancy pass), I still feel foolish that I dragged my husband away from work, had my mom drive me an hour away to the birth center, paid for a hotel room, and we still have no baby. I want my baby to be here! I was in such high spirits yesterday morning, but I’m in a real funk now.

I usually sign off with ‘metta,’ which means ‘good vibes,’ but I’m in such a state that I feel like that would be a tainted word right now. So bye. I do hope you’re having a better evening than I.

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